I have been a country music fan for years. I even earned my living from it for 8 years of my life as an on air radio personality while I worked my way through college. It was the job I had right before I became a full time blogger, so it hasn’t been that long ago. Though most country fans I would consider pretty cool, it pains me to say there are many that can be quit unforgiving and intolerant.

The Struggle Of Having An Opinion In Country Music

This week, country singers Ty Herndon and Billy Gilman both came out as gay.

In most musical genres, this isn’t really that big of a deal, but it can be a death sentence to your career in country music. Really, anything that is seen as different from traditional conservative values can be. Ask Natalie Maines of the Dixie Chicks. One comment about her disapproval of the president and the country fans went berzerk. And it ended their career in country music. People started burning albums. Radio stations refused to play their music. And one of the best selling groups in the history of country music was taken down with one remark. A genre of music that prides itself on loyalty and a religion based in forgiveness and love found no remorse for one comment from the Dixie Chicks.

And if you think time heals all wounds, read some of the recent comments below this video. Hell hath no fury like a country fan scorned.

Coming Out In Country Music: Chely Wright

A few years ago country singer, Chely Wright, came out as gay. She shared her story on Oprah, Ellen and in a book, Like Me, {which is pretty good, by the way}. She was obviously scared to come out and you could see the terror in her face. I really felt for her. As a heterosexual female, I don’t personally know the terror of coming out but even I could see how scared she was.

She talked about almost killing herself. No one should feel like that is their only choice. Ever.

Coming Out In Country Music: Ty Herndon And Billy Gilman

This week two other country stars came out: Ty Herndon and Billy Gilman. I think that Ty Herndon may have just felt it was time to come out as he is in a serious relationship. If that is the case, then that is wonderful. But, I think that Billy Gilman was forced to come out or have someone else do it for him and I hate that.

Of all of the artists mentioned, I have only ever met Ty Herndon. I have also interviewed him live on the air. Imagine how terrified you would be if you were being interviewed and scared that someone might “out” you. That is exactly what Billy Gilman faced and that played a big part in his decision to come out. A reporter caught him in public and snapped a photo. So Gilman made the decision to come out first on his own terms.

I have no idea what the reporter’s intentions were but if Gilman felt he had to come out, then he probably felt they were bad. Shame on that reporter. I have interviewed quite a few people in my career and never pulled something like that. And I have no intentions of starting. We interview people about what they want to talk about as we believe their private lives are theirs. Yes, we may never get 100,000 million views a month because of that, but I can sleep well at night. And that is just fine by me. 🙂

My Thoughts

In a genre of music that is accepting of people riding lawn mowers drunk to the store to pick up more alcohol, of standing by their man even when their man is abusing them, and now of “bro country” that some argue boxes women into “little cut off jeans shorts, crop tops and passenger seat boxes,” we sure aren’t very “accepting” of things that don’t really require our acceptance anyway.

I am not sure how we have gotten so entitled that we feel that we need to “accept” or “condone” everything. I also think that people should be able to come out as gay only if they want to, but in no way should they feel like they have to or be outed by someone else. They also shouldn’t feel that it is our business or right to know. It’s only my business to know anything personal about you if you want me to know. I feel horrible about the way Billy Gilman came out.

I also feel terrible for Chely Wright feeling the need to hide all these years and I hope that she found peace in coming out. No one should be so scared to let people know that they are gay or that they wrestle with the idea of suicide as an alternative. No one should ever feel that alone. No one deserves to be deprived of love.

How is this different than picking on teens until they commit suicide? We call those people bullies.

What consenting adults do in their homes is not my entitlement to know, whether they are straight or gay or whatever. This shouldn’t be a conversation at all because it shouldn’t matter. Just like my hair is red. It’s different. And that’s okay. We are all equal. And until people stop judging other people based on sexual orientation, color, socioeconomic status, or whatever, there will always be people who feel entitled to judge others.

I think that coming out seems to have been mostly supportive for Ty Herndon, at least. So maybe country fans have made greater strides than I am giving them credit for. And for that I am proud.